Bane of my Existence
by Impassive Purple
Summary: "You… You wouldn't." Ash whispered. "You're... not really evil…" It went against everything he knew. Everything he had ever seen and learned. Pokemon could be mean; never evil. However, this creature just served to prove him wrong in the most agonizingly slow way possible. More cold echoed giggling erupted around him, followed by three simple words. "Count the days." [Odd AU]
1. Penumbrae

**Chapter 1**

 _ **Penumbrae**_

* * *

" _Like her… Just like her…"_ The shadows whispered. _"And unlike her, I won't ever get bored with you…"_

It was all in his own head. Ash Ketchum's eyes calmly flickered open from his dreamless sleep, his vision locked on the ceiling of their small apartment. Only the latest in a multi-year string; if it wasn't a nightmare, it didn't exist. He had once begun to confuse the two, and was now old enough now that he didn't remember the last time he had a 'sweet dream'. Hearing his mother's heavy breathing from across the hall was nothing new. Her muffled whimpers were easily distinguishable from the dead, quiet ambience in their apartment. From blank and expressionless, his face was now marred by a small frown.

" _You hear her sobbing, crying…? Mmnn…"_

Like a wisp in his ear. It was hardly two seconds later that his feet touched the carpet, and he found himself walking through his relatively empty room towards the open door. The limited amount of artificial light that came in through the window could hardly illuminate the space, so he relied on his subconscious to guide him into his mother's room. The door was cracked, giving way with a push so gentle that it could shame a Hoppip. Soon revealed was his mother, curled into a ball on her bed, hugging her knees.

" _Mommy… Mommy…" It mimicked. "Say it."_

Ash wouldn't say a word. There was no telling how spooked his mother would be from only hearing his voice. Carefully approaching the bed, he reached out and set a hand on her shoulder. Under his touch, he could feel her seize up, until he sat down on the bed. His weight comforted her. No illusion the shadow could produce could fake that. She glanced back at him with frightened eyes, however, no words were exchanged. Lying behind her, the barest sigh of relief left her and Ash brought her into an embrace, loosening her body. The sniffling began to fade ever so slowly.

" _How sweet,"_ The voice mocked. _"Why can't I get a hug~?"_ Giggling reverberated around him. Shallow,cold, heartless. It consumed him.

Suddenly a force grasped at his neck, causing his eyes to widen. It squeezed tighter and tighter. He struggled for air, thrashing around to gain some sort of reprieve, and when it finally became too much to bear, the pressure was released.

" _Hmnn… Too bad it's not real,"_ The sing songy teasing was edged with a hint of disappointment.

His heart squeezed. Reality came flooding back with Ash jolting up in a cold sweat, coughing. Heavy gasps filled his room in their wake, and he brought a hand up to his neck, feeling nothing. Looking around, he noted that he was still in his own room. He listened for the sobs of his mother, and heard nothing. As quiet as a graveyard. Ash let out a long breath. Yet another nightmare, and that meant that she wasn't being deprived of sleep. It was focused on him.

" _Hah."_ He heard a light scoff. _"Not real… No. None of it. Not yet…"_ Sadistic joy dripped from the voice.

 _Not yet._ Ash's empty stare met the shadows, which only seemed to gaze back at him. His eyes narrowed. "…Leave Mom alone."

The dry rasp in his voice could be attributed to it being the first time he's spoken in many hours, and it didn't betray how he felt after so many days and nights in their cursed bubble of reality.

Hate was a very strong word, and not the right one. Ash didn't hate this creature despite it's misdeeds. It was far more reserved than that, for him on a personal level. His fear of it had lessened with time; he would no longer cry out in his sleep, double check the darkest parts of his room at night, investigate every little noise with shaky hands and terror gripping his heart, so on. Though, his fear could not be eliminated entirely. He read that it was instinctual for people to be afraid of the dark, and it made sense. However, none of this meant that he would never be worried for his mother.

She was the most affected, and tried her hardest to keep it bottled up through all the rough patches, the thick and thin over the past years of turmoil. Trying to raise him and keep a stable job, a stable sense of reality, even when their lives were collapsing like a house of cards around them. It was getting ever closer to reaching its peak. That was the eventuality that the creature spoke of.

 _Not yet._

Three years ago, this wouldn't have been a thought in his or his mother's mind. Care free, happy, normal, and among all else, stable; living a joyful and peaceful life in Pallet Town. But at nearly ten years of age, Ash Ketchum had already felt the seedling darkness creep into his heart.

" _Mmnn. I'll leave her alone-"_ A chill brushed the back of his neck. _"-When she's dead."_

That struck deep, his breathing shuddered. His eyes widened. "You… You wouldn't." Ash whispered, clutching his sheets. "You're not really evil…" Trying to convince himself never worked. Never. He never thought that any Pokemon could do this. It went against his perception of reality, everything he had ever seen, heard, or imagined. However, this creature just served to prove him wrong in the most agonizingly slow way possible.

More cold echoed giggling erupted around him, followed with three simple words. _"Count. The. Days."_ Each was delivered with a pulse of his heart.

Ash Ketchum was truly silent after that.

So was she.

* * *

 _ **Banette of my Existence**_

 _ **A/N**_

 _Haven't written anything in a hot minute. Unsure whether or not I'll continue this. Debated making the one above the title, but it was slightly too punny (That's an actual word in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, meaning exactly what you think it does; that was news to me) for the theme of this story._


	2. The Casualty

**Chapter 2**

 _ **The Casualty**_

* * *

" _Delia."_

The sound was distorted, as if said above water while she slowly sank to the bottom. It took a moment for the young woman of twenty-seven in question to register the sound of her own name. The owner of the voice eluded her; she had zoned out. Looking up from the counter in front of her, the heavy barely kept brunette bangs on her face parted. Her makeup concealed bagged eyes that took in the surrounding hastily, trying to fill in the gaps. Where was she? What had she been–?

 _Work. Focus. Snap out of it._

"Excuse me, Delia."

It didn't matter what she had just heard, words spilled from Delia Ketchum's mouth faster than she could register who was actually speaking to her. A forced smile imposed itself on her expression, and her hands clasped together in front of her out of habit. "Ah miss, did you find everything that you need alright–?"

That was the moment it caught up with her, staring at the woman on the other side of the counter. Instantly, Delia cut herself off. Eyes wide, the fake smile vanished, and a hand flew up to cover her mouth. Her autopilot flicked off, leaving her in full control to face what could be imminent disaster. She quite nearly choked at the speed at which she stuttered out her follow up. "A-Ah… Yes, m-ma'am?"

Delia watched the older store manager's now increasingly critical eyes with a small, but very visible, flinch. "I've made it clear to you before that I won't tolerate you sleeping at the counter, correct?"

The young mother gulped. "Y-Yes, you have. W-Well understood ma'am." She wasn't sleeping, though that hardly mattered. Either way there would be consequences she couldn't afford should it be caught happening again. One look assured that notion, and she was desperate to keep this job.

"…Good," The manager led off slowly. "Anyhow, I originally came to ask you if you wanted Emmet's hours this weekend–?"

Delia's expression brightened considerably with each syllable that left her boss's mouth. It could still hardly be called anything remotely close to joy, more akin to relief. Nonetheless, almost outright interrupting the older woman, she didn't hesitate with her answer. "Yes! Uh, I-I mean, I would like that very much, please!"

"In that case–Saturday morning, six o'clock, to your usual start time. Sunday is the same, until your replacement comes in. Got it?" Sixteen extra hours.

A quick, shaky nod was her confirmation, Delia sweeping her unruly hair behind her ear with the most relaxed expression the woman had probably had all month. But, deep in her mind, the echo of laughter rung true. Images more horrifying than any she could ever think up on her own flashed in her vision and made her head pound. She wasn't even asleep and the nightmares ate at her.

This was normal, a fact of the time that she spent still breathing.

"Ah, excuse me. I hope your shopping experience with us has been well?" Delia heard the manager say with a friendly smile, drawing her out of her head, eyes catching a man who was carrying a basket of goods to the counter. He gave a short nod of greeting, and the manager continued, looking between the two. "Well, I'll be out of your way then. Delia, please ring up this fine customer."

Nods of their own were exchanged. That was the cue for the fake smile to appear on the young woman's face. "Did you find everything you need today, sir?"

* * *

When Delia exited the convenience-store to head home, it was past ten at night. The had since set, allowing darkness to battle the numerous lights of Saffron City for control. It briefly reminded her of the fact that she originally applied intent on the overnight shift, only to be told that she would be given the late-day instead, as a previous applicant had more valid reasoning for wanting the night shift than herself. The 'optimal arrangement', as the manager had put it.

Delia had once thought that avoiding sleep in the darkness would stave off the creature. She couldn't afford to keep lights on all night, so sleeping during the day was the obvious solution. That was what she was led to believe by the creature, the demon. It was an incorrect assumption.

Sleep to her was like inevitably being forced by her bodily needs to walk into her own personal mental torture room. Not only that, she would do nearly anything to keep away from that house in general, bar completely leaving her son.

He was the one bright spot; her glimpse of sanity.

 _Sanity._ She readily acknowledged that she was a mess, if not outright crazy. Zoning out constantly, losing sense of what was happening around her, freaking out at the smallest things; it was hard enough to hold down a job when she couldn't stop behaving like a schizophrenic off of her medication.

That wasn't the worst of it, not by far. Delia was jealous. Envious of everyone who could walk around normally day to day. Anyone who could lay down at night and rest peacefully. She was jealous of her past self, a state that she would foreseeably never be able to return to. Although, even further down, she was jealous of her own son; the one who never cried anymore, the one who had never so much as showed a hint of being bothered by the demonic being that held residence wherever they went, since he was seven. She could distinctly remember the nights that he would come to her for comfort, an escape. It helped her as well. But those times were long gone.

Yes. Ash had left her alone, to suffer.

 _Everyone had. To suffer in silence. Ash, her "husband", her "friends"…_

The touch of rain forced Delia to look up from the sidewalk. Soon, it went from a light sprinkle to a moderate pour before her narrowed eyes. Her expression hardly changed, she only flinched at the chill of the cold shower on her neck.

She continued on, clutching her bag under her arms in front of her in an effort to keep everything dry. It was a three minute walk to the nearest subway entrance; hopefully she wouldn't end up sick.

 _Or maybe that would be–_

Delia's fingernails dug into her bag. Her steps became more firm, her rain-soaked pants already rubbing roughly against her legs, a similar story to her multi-layered top. She got many slightly worried looks from bystanders as she stepped down the stairs at the entrance of the subway, shaking her head back and forth, hurrying down to the bottom as quickly as she could without slipping.

"I'm s-sorry, Ash," she whispered to herself repeatedly. "I'm s-so sorry…"

At that point, one wouldn't be able to tell the tears beginning to stream down her face from the rain she had just escaped.

* * *

 **Banette of my Existence**

 **A/N (Prepare for an unreasonably long one. As for the word count inflation, I am very aware, and very sorry. Good luck.)**

 _Contemplated making this chapter much longer, and eventually decided against it. This is just meant to convey Delia's state of character in relation to Ash and Banette. The next will definitely contain significantly more plot progression by comparison. Anyway, onto something I've been thinking about ever since it was brought to my attention:_

 _Contrary to the inclusion of the protagonist and poster boy of the Pokemon anime, I don't intend to use the anime in its entirety as a base for this fanfiction. However, that said, I have thought of using other characters from the anime in this admittedly, pretty odd, fanfiction. The issue with this is that not everyone has seen the anime, and even I myself don't remember more than a few dozen whole episodes from all my time of being a Pokemon fan. So I want to establish some things. Let's get down to business._

 _For all intents and purposes, you should probably be treating Ash and Delia Ketchum as "Original Characters", even though they (and other such characters) have a very similar if not an identical past as those two in the anime. Many of those minor details in their history will probably be hinted at, if not fully explained anyhow. Forthgoing, I will be putting more effort (than I originally thought I would) into describing appearances, locations, character relationships, etc. It's only logical. This is supposed to be a mostly standalone Pokemon fanfiction, meaning even if you have only played the games, you would be able to understand. I will do this with every character I feel needs it, regardless of their story of origin: anime, manga, or any of the games. Note that this statement is not meant to declare that any of these established characters are my own, but I would like to use them, and if requested I will try to list their true origins at the end of the chapter in which they are introduced. This would be to avoid confusion if I do end up creating an OC; something that won't exactly be off the table given the nature of this fic._

 _Q &A time. Some simple ground-work. _

_Q: Does Ash's Pikachu exist?_

 _A: For safety, assume so. Will you ever see him? Fuck if I know._

 _Q: Is this story gonna be edgy?_

 _A: Uh. Yes, at times. It is an adventure story, and I don't plan for it to be soul-sucking at every possible moment, but it is based in tragedy, drama, suspense, horror, etc._

 _Q: What can I expect going forth in this fanfiction?_

 _A: Me kicking you in the shins and hoping you like it. The chapters after this one will hopefully expand on where I'm going. Ash and (this random ass) Banette will remain quite central to the story for certain._

 _Q: Romance? Pairings? Ash x (Insert Poke-Girl)? Pokephilia? LEMONS?_

 _A: Lmfao. To get it out of the way, this is not a romance-centered fic by any means; just as a pure disclaimer. But to go into it further, it was a running joke between myself and my friend while conceptualizing this that every time the topic of non-platonic relationships would come up, it was, "Ash x Banette, smut every chapter, fuck everything (1)", as we do while thinking about literally every fanfiction I'll ever think about writing for some fucking reason. It's safe to say that this won't be at all present, but the dynamic between Ash and his partner-Pokemon will be complex in various aspects that may even eventually push on those boundary lines, as can come with the disturbance of morals and mind-fuckery. However, in the end, I reserve the right to do whatever the fuck I want._

 _(1) One day I searched to see if there were any good Pokemon horror-fics in the archive, filtering by the "Horror" genre, sorted by "Favorites"... The first result on the page was a certain fic called "Captured"... After seeing the summary, I was willing to skip over it, but somehow both I and my friend came to the decision that we would BOTH read it, so that we would BOTH be subjected to it. Long story short, WOULD NOT RECOMMEND, but if you know what I'm talking about, you can understand where this is going._


	3. Patient Pt 1

**Chapter 3**

 _ **Patient Pt. 1**_

* * *

"… _That bitch."_ Ash heard a wispy mumble.

Even the sound of the news channel on television and the storm outside was hardly enough to kill the suffocatingly quiet atmosphere of the apartment. Ash's expression spelled out his long conflicting emotions, dark brown eyes piercing intently through his raven hair to the digital clock on the microwave as the "1:46" flickered over to "1:47" AM. His cheek pressed against his forearms keeping his resting head off of the small table. While he hadn't taken a step out of the apartment, a pair of basic sneakers adorned his feet, toe-ends barely touching the floor as his legs hung from the chair.

This is where he had been since a little before midnight. His mother hadn't come home after work.

" _She thinks that she can just leave…?"_

It wasn't the first time she had been out for longer than usual, however with this weather and the time of night, he began to worry. She would have called home had she taken an extra shift, as she always did, right?

No call. Nothing.

If it hadn't been pouring so hard outside he may have already left the apartment. Saffron wasn't a particularly safe city in terms of crime, though that was largely irrelevant to him. "Protect" was a strong and severely wrong word to use, but Ash could be sure that a certain shade wouldn't be too pleased with either of the ones she had called dibs on being grabbed in the dead of night. Still yet, she couldn't be in two places at once either, and he knew he took priority— _always_.

"… _But where…?"_

Ash had grown used to these whispers at the edge of his hearing, whereas most would likely lose their minds. His eyes remained locked on the clock. One minute. Two. Thirteen. "2:00" AM.

"Mom…" he trailed off, murmuring to himself while glancing at the door.

Taking a deep breath in anxiety reminded him of just how thirsty he was. Like a zombie, he dropped off of his chair and moved over to the refrigerator. The hum of the appliance was like a lullaby for his weary eyelids, which had been threatening to close before he had stood up.

His hand grabbed the handle, pulling the door open with some effort. The physical chill that flooded out in front of him put goosebumps on his skin as he scanned the contents inside. Half a gallon of milk, leftover pizza, a couple eggs. He glanced over those and a few other things on his way down the shelves of the small space. Reaching forward, his hand grasped a small juice box from where a dozen or so were lined up.

Ash shut the refrigerator door, pausing for a moment to pick the straw off of the beverage packaging. "So it's not you, then?" he spoke, tired and unfocused, sliding down onto the floor of the kitchen.

"… _Tch."_

The sound of thunder rolled through the room. Ash stared to the floor, drawing his legs closer to himself. "I hope that she's at least out of the rain," he muttered, slowly sipping on the juice box.

" _Hnn?"_ Mirth slipped into her disembodied voice as she replied, _"She'll be wishing she drowned in it."_

He gave no reaction. "…Maybe she decided to stay at the store while letting the storm pass…?" Although said out loud, it was whispered. Ash obviously wasn't looking for a response, just talking to himself.

At this point it was apparent that he was ignoring her, thus causing the creature no small amount of annoyance. But she wouldn't let it end there. _"Maybe she's being gang-raped in a dark shabby hole-in-the-wall?"_ She mocked, pressing the knife deeper, trying to draw a reaction out of him.

Ash tensed, his hand nearly crushing his juice box. He bit his lip. This was exactly what she was looking for, and in fact, she nearly exploded in laughter. To see that hopeless expression on his face sent a shot of pure euphoria running through her very soul. However, this still wasn't the perfection she sought after. Not even close. _"You're too easy, sometimes. I didn't even have to get creative."_ She taunted.

After all, he may have bent, but he never broke. That was the thrill of it all. Far better than the mother, who just keeled over at every corner. The woman always managed to bring about a feeling of nostalgia in her, although it was more comparable to deja vu, and could never satisfy her entirely.

His face went blank, before his mouth opened. "You don't mean that, do you…?" Ash didn't look up, just shaking his head slowly, pushing off of the cabinet to help stand himself up. "No. You want Mom to come home the same as I do," he stated, like it was indisputable fact. His head hung low, sights to the ground as he moved out of the kitchen.

" _Oh, of course…"_ She giggled, watching him sit on the couch. The light of the TV in the dim room reflected off of his deep brown eyes, finally piecing together his dead-fish visage. _"Nobody but me can touch her. I own her—I own both of you."_

 _Own._ The air of finality in her words seemingly released Ash from his chained-awake consciousness at that very moment, leaving their exchange over, to lull in its grave. His eyelids felt too heavy to keep open without willing them to, and thus, finally, he let sleep pull him in.

* * *

His consciousness was suddenly yanked on with the force of a dynamic punch.

Ash opened his eyes. The flood of light immediately caught him off guard, forcing him to blink away the odd dancing shapes. When his vision adjusted, he realized he was face to face with his mother.

She had her hands on his shoulders and looked on the edge of tears, a small frown blemishing her face. Not angry, not exactly distressed, but disappointed?

After these things registered in his mind, he finally took notice of a few more crucial details that nearly caused his legs to crumble underneath him. His mother looked so much more youthful, no bags under her eyes or slightly unkempt hair. He felt dazed when he looked around.

He was standing in their old living room. Pallet Town. Balancing suddenly seemed much less important, however her grip on his much smaller shoulders was enough to keep his tiny body from falling over.

"Mom…?" he spoke, feeling confused in more ways than one.

The single word made her pull back slightly, as if what he just said hurt her in some way. Ash was suddenly very aware of just how short he was. A part of his mind called out to him from what felt like a million miles away. _Mommy._

"…I guess I should have expected it," Delia mumbled, squeezing his shoulder. She sniffled. "Y-You really do want to go on an adventure, then? You want to be a Pokemon trainer?" Her eyes were locked on his own, trying to search deep within his soul for an answer, before he had the chance to give his own; to break her heart.

"W-What?" Ash questioned, trying to figure out what was happening. This all seemed vaguely familiar, but there was so much wrong that he refused to believe that it was real. Was it? "What's going on?"

"Professor Oak told me. I just—" She let out a shaky breath as her words fell from her lips. "I just wanted to hear it from you…" It appeared to physically pain her the more she spoke.

"Uhm…" Ash struggled to come up with anything coherent to say back. Frankly, "confusion" didn't begin to describe his state of understanding. It went beyond that.

Delia took a hand of his shoulder to wipe her eyes, forcing an obviously reluctant and empty smile onto her face. "It's ok, Ash, I-I'm not m-mad."

He simply stared at her. _This… what is this?_

"I guess, I thought, maybe," she said, before letting out an awkward laugh, shaking her head. "No, you know, nevermind. It's nothing."

 _I thought maybe you would want to follow in my footsteps, instead of his._ Words flooded into his head. She didn't say them, though he definitely heard them. Her footsteps, instead of his? A second or two passed in silence as his mind processed. Eventually, Ash opened his mouth, but only one sound escaped him.

"Oh." His expression lost the confusion, replaced by a sheer, blank slate.

Delia fidgeted, letting go of his shoulder. He watched as she bit her lip, before speaking once more, trying her hardest to sound as chipper as possible. "If that's what you want to do, I'll support you how I can… definitely!" She clapped her hands together, standing to her full height.

"…Definitely." Ash repeated slowly, just under his breath, his eyes drifting across the room. He turned his head to each corner, searching every shadow he could find. "Uh, hey, mom?"

He waited for her response, for her to ask what was wrong or what was on his mind. When she didn't answer, he turned back towards her. "Mom—?"

Ash promptly froze.

His eyes locked with a duo of blood-red orbs, slit with black pupils, opposite of his own. Any light that existed in the once pleasant living space vanished, swallowed by the bleak, cold, and dead atmosphere that consumed everything around him.

" _Mommy…!"_ The opened golden zipper-type orifice under the red eyes formed a grin. _"Where is she…?"_ The slightly feminine voice taunted.

Ash frowned. "You're… not the real one?" He asked, watching her closely. The tip-off wasn't something he could readily explain. Instinctual?

As soon as he said that, the grin twisted. The eyes narrowed. _"Not real? What do you mean, you little—?"_

" _Dreaming of me, hn?"_ Suddenly, a much more tangible and irritable voice pierced into his head, however this one wasn't much different in identity to the last. _"And no, no you're not. So, get the fuck out of my sight."_ Her attention turned to the alternate version of herself. Instantly, the apparition vanished without a trace.

"AGH…!" Ash's senses rang as if an explosion just burst his eardrums. He fell to his knees on the ground, clutching at both sides of his head. It felt like a gunshot to his cranium.

" _And you—WAKE UP, before I do it for you."_ she growled.

* * *

 _ **Ding-dong…!**_

"Chhh…!" Ash breathed, barely audible. _WAKE UP… WAKE UP…_ It kept repeating, it wouldn't stop.

 _ **Ding-dong…!**_

The boy clutched at the cushion under him, knuckles white. His head pounded in agony. But the high-pitched dual-toned ringing certainly wasn't caused by that.

" _Door. Bell."_ he heard the voice hiss.

"Huh—?" It took a split second to click. Ash's eyes snapped open at the noise, fully awake. The TV was off, and the barest smidge of light seeped into the apartment through the closed curtains. He whipped his head around to look towards the front door. It took him a short moment to fully register, before he was pushing himself off the dingy couch, and stumbling across the small, dark and quiet apartment, trying to shake off the distracting pulse in his brain. "H-Hold on, I'm coming!" He called, hoping whoever was at the door could hear him.

His tired eyes barely caught a glimpse of the digital clock on his way, but when they did, he nearly faltered. "5:43" AM. Now he couldn't tell if it was the lack of sleep making his head head hurt, or his method of awakening.

 _At six in the morning?_ The question of who is was filled his mind as Ash hurried on. They didn't get any visitors, ever. He could probably count the number of times someone had rang the doorbell on one hand, since they had moved in. He fumbled to unlock the door, only then grabbing the knob and twisting. Brushing dark raven hair out of his face, Ash pulled the door open just enough to peek through.

Bits of early morning sunlight, and the chill of the air rushed into the dim apartment, but found itself limited by just how little Ash cracked the door. He was forced to squint to see properly while his vision came to focus. Revealed to him was a man in an official-looking uniform, sporting black hair with a goatee, and a hat that cast a dark shadow over his face. The man was peering at him from the short distance through the crack with an attempt at a small but friendly smile. However, this wasn't exactly returned in kind by Ash.

In fact, he felt his throat dry at the sight.

A long-sleeved light-blue collared shirt topped with a black vest and tie, tucked into navy-blue pants. While a few other aspects of it could have given hints, the wording on his vest; "Saffron City Police Dept" and the ornate navy blue hat with an elegant badge-type decoration on the front were dead giveaways,as well as the stun gun and baton that hung next to two small-form pokeballs at his waist.

 _A police officer…_ Ash hardly noticed himself subconsciously sucking in a breath. Meanwhile, the pair of Pokemon containing devices had their non-human observer, who remained obscured in the shadows behind Ash, narrowing her deep-ruby eyes. She couldn't find herself feeling truly threatened, it had been awhile since anything brought out that instinct; nonetheless, she noted their existence.

Ash opened the door ever so slightly wider, concern welling up inside him. The implications made him nervous, if not terrified. He could think of few other reasons for his presence, other than being related to his mother. A quick look down and to the side where they usually put their shoes told him that she still wasn't home. Regardless of if she just hadn't taken off her shoes, or otherwise, he was confident he would have heard her come in and woke up. "H-Hello?"

The man tilted his hat in a polite manner, clearing his throat. "Yes, good morning. I'm officer Maury," he stated, briefly holding out his department-issued ID for Ash to see, before continuing. "May I assume correctly that you're Ash? Ash Ketchum?" He seemed to think about the name for a second, most likely assuring himself that he hadn't gotten it incorrect.

Said child hesitantly nodded.

"Hm. So," Officer Maury let out a sigh. "Your mother, Delia Ketchum, she didn't come home last night." He stated, and Ash wasn't caught off-guard. That didn't stop him from visibly flinching, staring up at the man.

Their eavesdropper tisked into his ear. _"Oh…?"_

"M-Mom? No," Ash confirmed, worry etching itself across his face. His chest squeezed, though he tried to calm himself down. It didn't work. It was obvious that she wasn't missing, but it that case— _where is she?_ She wasn't with the officer, she wasn't home. Ash's heart pounded hard in his chest, as if trying to warm up, to no avail. Everything was only growing colder. "…B-But you know where she is—right?" He was looking for answers but afraid to hear what the man had to say.

Officer Maury nodded. "Well, that's exactly why I'm here. Don't worry. She's certainly not in any immediate danger, as far as I know," A paused allowed for Ash to relax, though he was anything but. "She's currently checked in at the Saffron General Hospital…" he informed, weighing the child's reaction.

"…What?" Ash's mind went on hold, and he looked vacantly out at the man. The door creaked open further as his grip on it was lost. "H-Hospital…?" he echoed. _Why the hospital? What happened?_

The officer held up a hand. "Calm down, let me get to that, please. Somebody found her on the subway last night, passed out and not able to be woken up. It's an awfully good thing they took notice, as it was possible she was experiencing some sort of organ failure. That wasn't the case, thankfully," he added. "I was told that the poor miss probably hadn't slept in days. Something like that is just as dangerous, frankly."

" _Tch. You're kidding me."_ Ash was the only one able to hear her, while the officer remained oblivious. Him alone, even as she started to giggle, louder and louder. The boy's conflicted expression darkened. He remained silent for the moment, listening to her rabid cackling.

"She's ok…" Eventually, he whispered to himself. _Not missing. Not gone. Not dead._ It was impossible for him to feel entirely relieved, however.

"I'm guessing you didn't know about any of this, then?" Officer Maury asked, raising an eyebrow. Ash hesitated to shake his head, though this didn't cause the man to lose his sceptical look. He rubbed his chin. "…Overworked, maybe?" Ash saw him glance at their small, slightly run down apartment complex.

"Maybe," Ash mumbled, quietly. If only the man knew.

" _As if you'd tell ever tell him about me."_ She could practically read his mind. _"Or anyone."_ And she wasn't wrong. Not in the slightest.

Officer Maury sent a strange look to the child, who seemed to be talking to himself more than anything else. "Anyhow, regardless, I'm here to take you to the hospital to see her." It wouldn't be responsible to leave a child home without their parent for an extended period of time. The officer threw up a thumb over his shoulder, pointing behind himself. "You do want to see her, right?"

Ash opened his mouth to reply, though his voice never left him. _Yes… yes!_ He wanted to say it. How desperately did he want to. He glanced back into the house, eyes boring into the darkness. _I can't._

"… _How convenient."_ Two word, short and ominous, serving to push his hesitation further. If he went, she went. Simple as that. But this also worked in reverse. If he stayed, she stayed. Ash felt himself losing the will to reply to the officer. He couldn't do that to his mother.

" _Oh and, I'll promise to be good!"_ She snickered. _"Give me a chance!"_

 _No. No. You're a liar._ Ash's breathing wavered. He glanced to the side, trying to avoid eye contact with the man in front of him, and the Officer must have caught the indecisive look.

"Do you have any Pokemon, by chance? Is that what you're worried about?" The man shifted to peek through the door. "It'd be better to take them, if so."

Ash's eyes flashed with alarm. "N-No, we don't have any Pokemon," he quickly responded. His mind then raced to come up with an excuse, landing on a solid one without much effort. "I'm worried about school." School; the halls of which he hadn't seen in over a year. It wasn't rare to be out of primary school by ten, although some kids did continue if they planned on going to a university.

The shadow dwelling creature let out a click in his ear. _"So hard. You try so, so hard. But you're in denial."_

"Eh, well," The man gave a sort of shrug. "I'm sure the teachers wouldn't mind you missing a day or two to stay with your mother at the hospital. Just so you know, though, I can't really take you back and forth. When we go, you'll probably be staying there, and might want to take a backpack with a pair of clothes and something to do," he made sure to note.

 _Just say no. Insist. Make another excuse._ Ash bit his lip. _Just say you aren't going._

"…Ok."

* * *

 _ **Banette of my Existence**_

 _ **A/N**_

 _Took a bit longer to write than I had thought it would, given the pace I was going at to begin with, but I suck at consistency, so you guys will probably have to get used to it. First "long" chapter (It's only like 3.2k, but uh, better than sub 1.5k amirite?), and I intend to keep future chapters about this length if not longer. Sometimes I feel like my writing is messy as hell, so give me your thoughts as reviews, not only on the story content, but the writing itself if you could; I love reading them._


	4. Patient Pt 2

**Chapter 4**

 _ **Patient Pt. 2**_

* * *

Under the brim of a red and white cap, dark brown pools locked intensely down into the dark shadow near his feet. The expression accompanying them appeared to be verging on despondent. More correctly, however, he was resigned. In his peripheral vision, Ash would notice the officer glancing over to him in concern for a split second, before turning his eyes back to the road. As to whether the man just thought he was understandably quiet, sullen, and perhaps lost in thought, or alternatively simply had his sights resting on his feet for lack of interest in the things around him was up for debate. It was reasonable to think both.

" _Much better trying to sneak into the car, than following along, hm…? That would be… annoying."_ He recalled hearing something along those lines while locking up the house. To say he paid the words any attention would be giving him too much credit. But after slipping into the police-cruiser, he did notice that she went completely silent. She hadn't spoken for several minutes now.

If the officer looked down at the shadow for long enough, he might have been able to tell that there was something odd about it; it much was darker than normal, though it was hard to see at this time of day. Fortunately for everyone involved, he kept his attention focused on the road and cars around him.

Ash could practically feel the weight resting on him, and the odd sensation of the air. She would get irritated if he moved his legs. Maybe it would disturb her illusion or something, he was unsure. Frankly, there wasn't any part of him that was itching to disturb her. Aside from not having the will to, he probably wouldn't have anyway. What was the point?

Instead of disturbing the atmosphere that felt to him as fragile as glass, he sat there still on the passenger side, arms lying around his bag, and silent with the exception of his gentle breathing. The unfamiliar setting and company made him stiff, uncomfortable; so much so that he was practically counting the seconds in which he was trapped there in the vehicle.

 _Why? Why am I here?_ His mother would be fine alone, right? He would obviously be doing more harm than good by going to the hospital. Everything would have been fine if he stayed home. His mother would get some rest, she would hopefully recover, and he wouldn't be worried about her because he knew where she was at.

He imagined the scenario playing out earlier, with him still standing at the door. "Actually, no sir, I don't want to visit my single mother in the hospital as her only child"; would anyone say that?

"Hey, kid," Officer Maury spoke up, causing Ash to fidget. However, he didn't look over, avoiding eye contact. "If you don't mind me asking, how's you and your mother's life at home? You're sure you have no idea what's going on with her?"

 _Don't worry about me._ The memory of his mother's sweet but tired voice caused Ash to bite his lip. "Mom—she works a lot. Normally she's out for most of the day, but she brings home dinner, and stuff… I don't know," he shared awkwardly, carefully navigating the treacherous waters of the conversation. It didn't need to be this way, Ash knew. Unlike his mother, that wasn't the case for him, and if he really wanted to, he could spill everything.

 _Everything… How far would she go to stop it?_ That, he didn't know. Going as far as murder seemed so unfathomable when he thought about it.

"Oh, yeah. That seems a bit complicated," the officer commented, nodding. His response was non-committal at best. Ash struggled to get a grasp on what precisely the man was trying to get him to say, but eventually it faded from his mind when the car descended into silence once more. This wasn't to last though, as after a minute or two he heard the officer let out a deep sigh. "Man, I hate rush hour."

Ash glanced up, gazing out the window. The rain-splashed streets of downtown Saffron; masses of people and Pokemon on foot, busses, motorbikes, cars, you name it. While few people actually owned any large-form personal transportation in Saffron, or in Kanto in general, the sheer magnitude of people in the city inevitably caused congestion on the roads. Seeing it all reminded him of just how little he ever went outside the house.

His pale skin reflected the lack of exposure to the sunlight, how he would spend his days doing the same few things. TV, workbooks, the dirt cheap internet, sleeping, or otherwise what would probably be dubbed vegetating by most normal people; sitting alone with his thoughts and his ever-present "companion". He had no friends and few responsibilities. As far as his life went, all he did was exist. The future was sketchy at best.

Ash found it slightly difficult to pull his sights from the window, lingering just a moment too long for his liking. He wanted to let out a sigh of his own, his unfocused stare reluctantly returning to rest in limbo, for no one else to see.

"She's your mother, she'll be happy to see you, so don't look so down. I'm sure everything will be fine." Maury wasn't blind, Ash understood that much. The officer must've spotted the flippant nature of his expression, however minute it was. That, or he had been through this song and dance before. "…I don't really know what your family situation looks like, and it seems like you don't me prying into it, but just know that."

As encouraging as the man tried to sound, it just didn't click with the raven haired child whatsoever. This time Ash did let out a light, but very audible breath. "Yeah," he mumbled.

* * *

Saffron City General Hospital was unsurprisingly a very "official-looking" place, if he had to term it. That should be expected, Ash figured. As it was paid for by the city itself, like the Gyms and Pokemon Centers, it probably had a fair amount of money backing it's architecture and , metal, sharp brickwork, and tile everywhere; no wood, cracks, or deterioration visible. While there may have been much better looking places around, this was certainly up there in terms of visual quality. To top it all off, it was huge.

If going outside for him was rare, then being in a part of the city that looked this modern, expensive, and well-kempt was near unprecedented. And just across the way, in viewing distance, was the counterpart to General Hospital, the Specialty Center. Though the design language was identical to it's twin, it appeared much smaller.

Even the parking garage itself that they drove into a few moments ago was relatively clean of oil stains and whatnot. At any other time, this may have been enough to grab hold of Ash's attention. He was used to seeing the same types of run down stores and housing developments, where as this was the type of scale that Saffron City was known for outside of the Kanto region. All of these things noted though, it wasn't long before he inevitably zoned out once more anyway, lost in his own head. None of it could keep his attention for long in comparison to everything else going on.

"And here we are," Maury said, cutting the engine after backing into the seemingly reserved parking space, shaking Ash from his musings, "You ready? We have a bit of a walk," the man noted as he swung his door open. Ash nodded, reaching for the handle to his own. Briefly hearing a quip of "be gentle on the door, it gets enough abuse" and so on, he got out of the police car. The lights of the ceiling of the parking garage gave the place a slightly eerie ambience in the early hours that didn't provide enough sunlight, but at least he found the warming morning air calming when he stood up and took it all in.

He felt the weight of his false shadow shedding from his feet. _"We're at the hospital, huh? Short nap…"_ Her words pricked his ears, while he shouldered his beat up old his other hand Ash firmly shut the car door, and made his way over to the front of the car where Officer Maury stood waiting for him.

"Don't wander off," the man joked, trying to make light of the situation, "I don't need you getting lost before you can see your mom. That wouldn't look good for me, eh?"

This attempt at humor only resulted in Ash giving another curt nod, before shielding his eyes from the headlights of a slowly passing vehicle. Officer Maury looked like he wanted to speak up again, but refrained. The atmosphere between them went back to awkward, or remained that way depending on how one looked at it. While Maury appeared to be progressively putting in effort to try and make himself seem more friendly, for Ash this whole thing had never been anything other than said status quo.

The short beep as Maury locked the car up signaled the start of their walk through the garage, towards the hospital building. Minutes on, Ash's eyes were kept distracted watching his resident nightmare-feeder drift in his shadow as he followed the Officer closely.

"You know, unless she has any other problems, I wouldn't expect you and your mom to be here too long. Even though originally she was in the emergency-room, the nurse said her issue probably wasn't serious enough to require anything more than another overnight stay."

Ash made a nondescript noise acknowledging what the man said, before hearing his ghost hum. _"…That's good, yeah,"_ she mumbled softly, _"Better to be out of here as soon as possible, anyway. So many people everywhere, it'll drive me mad."_ They weren't even in the hospital yet, and she already sounded restless.

Under his breath, Ash couldn't help responding, "Then you should have just stayed home." It was so low, so hollow, he would be surprised if the Officer heard a thing. On the other hand, he knew that the intended party most definitely heard it.

" _Who knows how long I would be there, without either of my favorite humans?"_ she raven haired boy she lurked next to looked up from the ground, towards the line of glass doors they were approaching. She didn't speak again until the Officer was already pulling at the handle of one of them, letting somebody through the door before they walked in themselves. _"And, I meant what I said earlier. I'll be good. I'll let her rest—just for tonight…"_

He didn't believe her. How could he?

Ash didn't pay much attention to the person in front of them as they stood second in their line to the receptionist counter, watching people and a select few smaller sized pokemon mill through the well-lit lobby. Potted plants were the decor of choice for the waiting area, lining the walls next to benches that were sparsely occupied. Towards the back of the lobby there were multiple elevators, and the halls split off in each direction in front of them, forming somewhat of a stubby 't' shape. On the counter in front of them a sign read "Please note; no pokemon over 4 feet in length or height allowed in the halls, common areas, or elevators outside of their containment devices. We thank you for understanding."

Was that supposed to mean that they were allowed in rooms? He could only imagine a 7 foot, 550 pound Tyranitar allowing themself to be stuffed in one of them, simply for the sake of seeing their trainer. Ash's musings faded when he heard the Officer speak up in front of him. Their turn; they approached.

"Good morning ma'am, I'm Officer Maury with the Saffron City Police Department. I need a visitor's pass for him," Maury began, tilting his head in the direction of Ash, "To see his mother, Ms. Delia Ketchum. She was admitted here last night?"

The older female receptionist that sat behind the counter looked between the two for a moment, acknowledging their presence. Dropping her eyes back to her monitor, she tapped a sequence of keys on her keyboard. "That's 'D.E.L.I.A', correct?" she spelled out, "No 'H' at the end?"

"Yeah, that's her," Ash was the one to speak up.

She nodded. "Ok. And your first name is…?"

"Ash, um, 'A.S.H'. Same last name as my mom." He figured that the lady would have already guessed that, but it came out anyway. A few more taps on the keyboard, and then the low hum of a machine could be heard. Two seconds maximum passed, eventually leading to the over-counter presentation of a plastic identification card.

Ash hesitantly picked it up, viewing its printed content. Name first, what he guessed was an estimation at his height and age, and the name of his mother in the "visiting:" section. There was also a spot for a picture, something that was left blank. Nothing fancy.

"Hold on tight to that card, unless you want to be seeing me again to print another," the receptionist advised, "You're looking for room 202, on floor 3."

"Thank you, ma'am," The officer spoke, who had been content with letting the boy speak, peeked back into the conversation to give the woman his gratitude as well. Followed by this the both of them headed to the elevators. Stepping into the first one available, it didn't take Ash long to notice the absence of his shadow. The lights were most likely too bright for her to stay hidden.

 _I'll be good…_

A person or two else stepped in after them, but it was quiet, and Ash naturally sank into the corner until they reached the third floor. He felt so entirely removed from the unknown faces around him, and he could feel his frustration growing with every second they became closer to his mother.

 _I'll be good…_

Ash finally found himself staring at his mother's face for the first time in what felt like forever, from the doorframe of the room. She was fast asleep; peacefully, although looking no less worn. His eyes softened when he approached her bedside.

 _I'll be good…_ That's what she told him.

Seeing and playing with pokemon at the old ranch in Pallet town helped to form his younger opinion of the creatures. Not all were friendly, but none were like _her_. She was an entirely different breed, even amongst the strangest pokemon he knew of. Gengar took satisfaction in playing cruel tricks on people, Drowzee were known to hang around daycares and the homes of children, and it wasn't impossible for wild Drifloon to just vanish with them.

She had hospitalized and threatened to kill his mother. She talked to him every single day. She acted like both of them were her toys. She tormented and tortured, jabbed and prodded. He couldn't imagine an average day without her existence.

It would be odd, and dare he even say it, undesirable.

Realizing this, Ash quickly found himself wishing he had never woken up.

* * *

 _ **Banette of my Existence**_

 _ **A/N**_

 _I'm not gonna lie, part of me thinks that this chapter (Or what passes for one, to me, for some reason. What the fuck, me?) is a bunch of filler bullshit with bits of exposition sprinkled throughout, and some slightly poor characterization as a bad aftertaste. I had been working on this for the better part of a month, and between the days where I would try to forget it's existence, I swear I edited the second section 40 times before settling on what it is now. All in all, I feel like this could have been written much better, and planned out even more-so. It gets the message across, I guess._

 _This chapter is the culmination of some poor decisions._ _I make a lot of poor decisions._


End file.
